Tall, thin, delicately dressed in gorgeous lingerie purchased during his training with his former Mistress (have to love meeting a sub trained by a Woman with great taste!). I demonstrate my preference for tanga panties over thongs. He is suspended and spread, delicate pieces right in front of me for easy access and exploitation.

Later, I roughly bend him over and inspect to be sure he has followed instructions for preparation. I sit back and sink into the soft leather couch while I watch the erostek do the F*ing for me. His whimpers and gentle screams are inspiring... I smile.

Busy! No time to post but shall write a bit next week. hope you all are well :)

For now, check out the updates to my website (esp. the FAQ page).

Dominant Wives, Girlfriends, and Women Who Administer Punishment -Part One-

What feels like a long time ago now, I was introduced to Jane's Xtratalk.com and did a couple of short videos for them. I wasn't fully formed, to say the least (not that one is ever, but if you nose around there you'll see what I mean), but I had a lot of fun doing it. It was an introduction for me to a certain kind of D/s that I have come to really identify with. Later, someone at FM brought Eric Stanton's "Dominant Wives" to my attention. Yesterday, I was told about Whap! Magazine. It is no longer in print, however what imagery I was able to find I strongly identified with. It was Women owned and written and in my opinion from the little that I can find of it, it really shows. (As a side note, perhaps not entirely coincidence that the next generation in that line of Femdoms is the creator of humiliatrix.com, an interesting evolution informed by and telling of our changing mainstream social structure and pressures.) Some of my favorite headlines that I can see on the Whap! cover images include:

"Men Are Dogs let's train them to obey us"
"Breakfast in Bed: every wife deserves it, we teach hubby how"
"Women Executives Male Minions: how to dominate your office underlings"
"Badly Behaved Beau? Spank Him!"

I'm not the girl next door but I'm also not a Fetish Goddess. It is not like I'm chasing down a definite label or box (because those never last or work anyhow) but one of the interesting things about BDSM to me is the way that we are always striving for ways to clearly communicate our desires to one another and archetypal titles and images help us to do that. It is also just interesting to me that in our post modern info-saturated world not only is there no need to re-invent the wheel there's also no fooling ourselves that we are unique. When I see stuff like Whap! I get that rush of something that was in my private fantasies actually existing outside of my head and not totally realizing that it was out there before. It is the same rush that I get when I meet someone who truly owns men as property, or when I meet sub with a Dominant wife who truly never has intercourse with them and in all likelihood never will again.

I'm finding that my favorite is to be able to both tease and torture. To spend time with a true gentleman, get to know him, and then have my way with him...

...To be continued

Upcoming Bondage Workshop by Mistress Tatiana Belodyne

Mistress Tatiana Belodyne is someone I had the pleasure and privilege of playing alongside during my days at Fantasy Makers. As I've said before, I'm really glad and feel pretty lucky that FM was my introduction to pro bdsm sessions. It is a really great environment to explore, and Mistress Tatiana was really influential for me- even though she may not know it! I always found her natural confidence alluring, and the stories about her sessions titillating. She is both extremely creative, and fosters real connections with her subs.

But enough of my drooling!

I just came across the listing for this class and I wanted to post and encourage anyone who will be in the S.F. Bay area to register and attend. I will unfortunately be out of town! I'm not a big fan of public classes and workshops, but I would definitely have made it out to this one were I in the area the day of.

Full-Body Bondage with Mistress Tatiana Belodyne @ Good Vibes

Full-Body Bondage: Wrapping Your Partner from Head to Toe!

Good Vibrations Valencia St., 603 Valencia Street (at 17th Street), San Francisco, CA 94110

Wednesday, March 11, 8-10 pm

$25 if pre-registered, $30 for drop-ins
Please call 415-522-5460 to reserve a seat.

Ever wanted to be, or to have your partner be, completely encased in bondage, from head to toe? Full-body bondage can be sweetly sensual, extremely demanding, or anything in-between. Mistress Tatiana Belodyne will share step-by-step how-tos for basic mummification as well as a variety of techniques that add power and spice. You’ll learn several different styles of all-over bondage, ways to play with temperature, impact, strategic access, positioning, sexual stimulation, and head games to intensify the experience for both partners. You don’t need to be an expert to play with mummification- this class is appropriate for relative novices, as well as experienced players who want to pick up some new tips and tricks.

Mistress Tatiana Belodyne is a lifestyle dominant with over a dozen years of experience as a professional Domme (www.Fantasymakers.com). She is one of the Headmistresses of the FantasyMakers Academy (www.Fantasymakers.org) and is a community college teaching assistant in Anatomy and Physiology. She is a popular educator, presenting locally and across the country on subjects as diverse as Spanking and Paddling, Infantilism, Anatomy for Tops and Breast Bondage. She is renowned both for her accessible, entertaining style in presenting technically accurate, safety-conscious material and for her hot demos.

We strongly recommend reserving your seat in our workshops. Some of our classes fill up and signup up early will make sure you can attend them. Other workshops have smaller attendance and we may cancel an event if only a few people are signed up in advance. Early pre-registration is the best way to avoid disappointment.
Please call us at 415-522-5460 during store hours to register for this class. We’ll need your name, phone number and a credit card number to reserve a seat. However, we will only charge your card if you don’t come to the class and you don’t cancel your reservation by 3 pm on the day of the class. Registration fees can be paid in cash or credit card when you arrive. We’ll be open at 7:30 pm and all workshops are from 8-10 pm. We suggest that you plan to arrive a few minutes early to check in at the counter.

The Spiral, by Lori's Tube

In November, CT and I had our one year Chastity-aversery, meaning he has now been under lock and key for over a year. We decided to mark the occasion of our contract signing and his 'collaring' with an upgrade from his CB-6000 to a metal device. I wanted a metal device for many reasons, on the surface the fact that the plastic started to just seem dinky was a big factor. After doing research, CT presented me with several of the best metal options out there. We are lucky because CT happens to have the perfect anatomy for fitting into a variety of devices successfully so I had several to consider and choose from. My original fantasy was to have CT get a series of frenum piercings to be locked to a series of testical piercings- however I don't believe the reality of that would actually be healthy long term.When I came across The Spiral by Lori's Tube I knew it was the one.

It is designed to fit through a frenum piercing and it just seemed oh-so-right as it was both suitable for extended wear and had a satisfying sadistic element. Unfortunately, CT's frenum piercing didn't heal properly, and so we decided (as we were advised by a professional piercer) to take the piercing out and let it heal. We may try for the frenum again later this year, for now the PA is satisfies our symbolic piercing needs.

Without the frenum the Spiral is less than perfect. It allows for partial erections (while the CB did not) and the head is exposed. In a way that adds an element of tease that is fun and a satisfying change after having him so long in the CB however it is not going to be suitable long term, and I'm currently considering new options, perhaps even simply going with the new version which has the optional head-cover and PA attatchment.

Even with its flaws I am still happy enough with the Spiral as the metal construction, serious lock, and general fit/ aesthetics feel to me to be more on the level of the kind of serious control I enjoy over CT and so it is still preferable to the CB while we decide on and order a more perfect device.

Here is what CT has to say about The Spiral:

I've been wearing the spiral for about two months. The first month I wore the unit off-and-on owing to recovery from piercings and daily for about the last three weeks.

The spiral consists of two main elements, first a closed ring where the penis and ball sack are tucked through. The ring is then placed flush or as close to flush as possible with the body. The second element is an 8g polished, metal spiral, in my case about four inches long.

I followed the fitting guidelines on Ms. Lori's site and the fit seems fine. As many others have reported, although I ordered a 1 7/8" ring, I was initially provided a 2 1/8" ring and arranged an exchange with Ms. Lori.

Properly worn, the back end of the spiral piece is threaded through the frenum piercing and turned until the end of the spiral is lined up with the ring. At that point a barrel-shaped screw nut is threaded onto the spiral; the barrel end is then fit into a slot on the ring. The slot is then covered with a locking screw that prevents the spiral from being removed from the ring.

In case it is not clear, this means that where the ring and spiral fit together a kind of hinge is formed between the ball sac and he spiral allowing the spiral portion of the device and the penis to slightly swing together. This increases the comfort for long term wear and allows room to clean while continuing to secure the shaft.

The front end of the spiral ends just below the penis crown. The final turn has a tighter, closed spiral that forms a kind of bumper to prevent the spiral itself from sliding back and forth and irritating the frenum piercing.

For me, currently without the frenum piercing, the device is worn the same way but locked only at the ring and held in place by the ring in the rear and the narrow bumper portion of the spiral up front.

The spiral can also be ordered with a cover for the penis head, though this model does not have that.

In wearing, the spiral is lightweight and extremely comfortable. It is discreet under clothing and I have even worn it during 90 minute yoga sessions without discomfort. Because of the spiral design that leaves much of the flesh of the shaft exposed, it can be worn for extended periods without cleaning.

Regarding security, I am certain that with enough lube and some natural "shrinkage" the ring could be slipped off if that is a goal. However, properly fit with a frenum piercing, the device would dangle uncomfortably from the piercing, no doubt a significant discouragement.

Without being fit through the piercing there is no doubt that the device in a sense is not perfectly secure, however as our chastity relationship has continued, and my mental and physical devotion increased, making sure the device stays on is a greater concern for me than escape.

On that score, the spiral is miles ahead of the CB as the "hinge" effect described above allows one to adjust the fit around the ball sac should any slippage occur.

There is however a significant limitation to the device as I am wearing it, and that is that with the head exposed at one end, and the hinge at the rear allowing the shaft to move, there is the possibility of a near full, or at least full feeling, erection. The result is painful and silly - think "pig in a blanket" – but does allow considerable extension. Indeed I felt on the cusp of orgasm only unable to release - a perfect ruination.

For some this may be a form of tease that is part of the game, for others it may be too much freedom in which case a spiral with a head covering or a device that more covers the shaft such as the CB devices or restricts movement of the shaft such as does apparently the Lori's 12 may be in order.

Gearing up for 2009

Just got back to Berlin after a wonderful trip to Malmo and Copenhagen. Great food, beautiful sights, close friends. My NYE was festive but mellow, the perfect end to a fruitful, interesting, and busy year and a lovely way to welcome the new one.

In one week I will be back home in San Francisco, and the following week I will be available for sessions. After that things are looking pretty tight, except some availability peppering the final week of January and the first week of February seems quite open as of now. I'm looking forward to meeting some new submissives, I've really appreciated those of you who put such a great effort into your introductory emails- they have been fun to read and have me excited to play with you (...especailly one of you who has been doing very well on your prep assignments).

I'm also very excited to be going for another weekend in Vegas with Mistress Kendra Knight, and to not only get to re connect with CT in the new (to me) playspace in San Francisco but to have him serve Mistress Kendra and I in Sin City as well. We'll be trying on some new protocols, or lack thereof rather, so I'm interested to see how that goes. I always make and effort treat my submissives with respect, courtesy, and gratitude- however now that CT is my slave and property (and of course he'll always be my bitch) I want to give myself permission to let the common outward manifestations of those things drop for this weekend. For example not saying 'thank you' for anything, not checking in about his feelings or preferences at all, not considering his pleasure or comfort. To some people it may sound backwards but it takes a lot of trust for me to feel comfortable truly treating someone that way to the degree that I plan on doing so. Those of you all who have played with me may be scratching your head because you have experienced me indulge in this type of dynamic of course- but there's something unique about this situation that is going to be taking it a step further for me. Beyond the core D/s dynamic I of course have a few other thoughts about ways to make the most of having him there with us but I don't want to give too much away. Think Punishment Panties.

In February I get to make yet another one of my fantasies into a reality with a recently aquired boytoy. I had a great, long-but-slow introductory scene with him in the fall and I'm looking forward to pushing him harder next time... After that I will be starting a month long tour February 20th - March 20th. The cities I am going to visit include:

Los Angeles - February 20-24
Tucson - February 27-28
Santa Fe - March 1-4
Denver - March 6-8
Portland - March 11-13
Seattle - March 15-16

I think I should add travel to my list of fetishes. If you'd like to get together in any of my tour destinations make sure to follow the instructions on my website. (exact dates will be added to this post soon)

And for now, I'll leave you with the fact that it has been far too long since I sessioned with a really good ball busting bottom. Also, I haven't sessioned as much over the last month as I'm used to (too busy with vanilla projects etc) so I'm itching to kick some ass - ahem... I mean play. One of my favorite ball busting scenes ever was in early 2007 in Los Angeles: It started with public play at a club, hard satisfying kicks and lots of hot pained reactions from him. The next day at Jessica Kane's dungeon, bound and suspended his penis duct taped to his stomach, testicles tenderized. The fear in his eyes was intoxicating.

Ooh... Also after just catching up on a friend's private blog I clicked over to this set of metal restraints which I think would be perfect for my collection!